destroyedordamaged

I'm self-publishing again, so I need to write a blurb.

As everyone in the world knows (because they've all bought it and loved it), I've self-published before; but that was a short story collection, and the blurb was easy to write, because I was younger and more arrogant and I didn't care as much about doing a good job of it.

But this time, it's a novel. The fourth novel I've ever written, but only the second that was a good idea for a novel, and only the first that is worth publishing. I might write a post some time on why I'm self-publishing instead of going the traditional route, but for now, the TL;DR version is that I believe that life is too short and I don't need to be a famous writer - just being read by a few people is enough for me.

So, the blurb needs to be good this time, because it means something to me and I want it to be a bit more successful than my first book. But where do you start, writing a professional-looking blurb?

Well, first I read some blurbs on the backs of books I like. Then, I read some guides. And the one I've taken the most from is this guide on writing a blurb that sells, which I found in the sidebar for the selfpublish subreddit.

You should read that guide if you're writing a blurb of your own. The most interesting part for me was the following:

Most fiction book blurbs start with a situation (a), introduce a problem (b) and promise a twist (c). They usually end with a sentence that emphasizes the mood (d) of the story.

And that is, mainly, what I've been trying to do.

So without more babbling, here are some blurbs I've come up with for my new book. If you've stuck around this long, I hope you'll be able to stick around for a bit longer to read them and tell me in the comments section which one is your favourite and which is the most likely to make you want to buy the book. If you have any suggestions, those are welcome too. Thanks everyone.

Blurb #1

Translation (without typewriter mistakes):

James Verne and his crew have travelled almost a thousand years to visit life on a distant planet.

But when they arrive to find their destination a smoking wasteland, desolate and uninhabited, their hopes of encountering a new civilisation are all left as damaged as their ship.

In their search for life or clues to its whereabouts, they discover that the people of this planet knew more about Earth than the humans knew about themselves, and that they might not be so alone after all…

Bleak and thought-provoking, (book name) is a story of redemption, survival, and the relentless search for hope in a seemingly hopeless world.

This one follows the above formula word for word. I think it sounds professional and interesting too. I'm just not sure about "or clues to its whereabouts"...

Blurb #2

Translation:

They travelled a millennium to visit life on a distant planet.

But when James Verne and his crew arrive to find their destination a smoking wasteland, desolate and uninhabited, their dreams of discovering a new civilisation are left as damaged as their ship.

Their search for answers begins, but only raises more questions. What happened here? How did these people know so much about Earth? Why did the humans leave their homes forever, for this?

Are they really so alone after all?

Bleak and thought-provoking, (book name) is a story of redemption, survival, and the relentless search for hope in a seemingly hopeless world.

You'll notice the similarities, I'm sure. But this time, I ask some questions, hoping that the reader will want to find out the answers. There are a lot of blurbs on published books that do this, so it must work on some level; I'm just not sure it works here. My girlfriend certainly doesn't like this one very much; she says it's too revealing, like the questions just make you think of spoilers.

Also, there's inaccuracy in that the journey to this planet is 967 years long, but I don't think it does too much harm to round it up.

Blurb #3

Translation (minus mistakes, plus a bit of tweaking):

By now, they knew too well that the world they had entered was a cruel and barren one. Their sleds were gone, taken in the night by no one knew what; their supplies were dwindling; their ship was too far away and too damaged from the crash-landing to be worth returning to; and their destination was still unknown. They knew where a city should be, but no matter how far they struggled, they never seemed to reach it.

However, one redeeming fact remained: they were still Conquerors. This world, this prize so far from the reach of any other humans who had ever existed, was theirs. They had made it.

Yeah, this one throws the formula out the window. But we've all seen books which just use a big extract from the book as their blurb. And it's easy to see why - giving the reader an actual taste of the writing they'll find inside the book might be more inviting than giving them a little summary written by someone else (or, in this case, the same person but in a different mood). This (edited) extract sets the scene without giving much away, and will hopefully intrigue the reader, make them want more.

(I should explain that in this story, the missions that send people off to other planets are called the Conqueror missions, which is why the crew are referred to as Conquerors).

But I also think this one might need a summary paragraph at the end, to round it off nicely. And maybe the beginning is too sudden, I dunno.

A quote from a celebrity would be good, too. Does anyone have Les Dennis's number?

Opinions Please

If you have a moment, please let me know what you think of my shortlist. Which is your favourite? How would you change it? Do you have any tips? It's all welcome. I'll even return the favour, if you need it.

Thanks, guys.

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